Disappointed, but Trusting

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." 

                                                                                 (Jer. 29:11)

I've known that verse for years. I've quoted it dozens of times. That doesn't mean that when my plans fall through I'm any less disappointed. And today, I am disappointed. I thought I had the next step all figured out. Everything was  all planned. Things were working together. 

Who am I kidding? I'm not in control of any of it. 

I'm not a parent yet. So, I don't think I can fully understand what it means to love a child and unconditionally always want the best for them. But I do have two loving parents of my own and I know that from the time I was born, they always made decisions based on what they thought was best for me. There were times when it didn't always feel that way, and sometimes it hurt, but looking back I can know they did everything out of love for me. And those are my earthly parents.

I have to believe that the motives of my Heavenly Father are even more pure, His heart more loving, and His plan more accurate. I have to believe that anything and everything that happens to me.....is for my good. He would never do anything to hurt me. He would never allow me to go through anything that wouldn't ultimately be in my best interests. 

So, how can I be upset when my plans fall through? 

It's GOT to be for my good. 

Even though I'm disappointed and a little hurt, it HAS to be for my good!! 

And that's where I am this morning. 

I'm disappointed, but I'm trusting my Father 

                      

                        ...........and the love He has for me.

TiTi Beka

Just wanted everyone else to see how cute my nephew, Lincoln, is. He's precious and I want to eat him up!

Sporadic

I've been known to make spur-of-the-moment decisions.

My original move from Wisconsin to South Carolina, back in 2005, was made in just a week. I bought Chelsea (my car) the same day I went to the dealership. I left at one o'clock in the morning and drove all night to be there when my kindred spirit friend, Sara Thompson, had her first child. (James arrived an hour before I did, for the record) I did the same thing when Sarah-Marie had her first child, Jack.

My point is, I fly by the seat of my pants and I honestly love living that way. I know there will come a point in time when I will have responsibilities and roots holding me down, but for now....I'm footloose and fancy-free. [I don't actually know what "fancy-free" means]

So, in the spirit of genuine spontaneity I have decided to head to South Carolina this weekend. And the reasons are three-fold.

1. I haven't been "home" since January. And let's be honest, that's WAY too long.

2. I have Friday off of work, which makes me wanna celebrate one less day in this hell hole that is my job.

3. My friends.

The past couple of weeks have been difficult for a lot of people, myself included.
I need to be around my real friends; the ones who truly know me; my sisters.

It was a sporadic decision, but those friendships....the real deal friendships....are anything BUT sporadic.

And frankly, that's exactly what I need!

It's me again.

Just in case anyone out there was wondering....

I'm still here.

Although, for awhile there I think I actually forgot I had a blog. 

Or maybe I forgot how to blog. 

Either way, the blog's still here and so am I.

As I get ready to start the next chapter, I think I've decided I need the catharsis that blogging provides. Especially for the next couple of months. I'm worried I may not make it to July. Kidding. But serious.

Here's hoping that writing about the next three months makes them just fly by. 

Hoping. 

~BD