The Results Are In

After three weeks of waiting, I finally got the results of my sleep study yesterday afternoon. I arrived at the Sleep Disorder Clinic around three o'clock and joined three other people in the waiting room, all of which happened to be middle-aged, heavy set, men. I just kept thinking to myself how out of place I felt in there. They all brought their CPAP machines with them, stored tightly in their handy-dandy carrying cases and I began to panic over the fact that I was soon to be issued one of those same machines, in a boring, boyish, blue case.

True to form in the medical field, I was made to wait about twenty-five minutes to see the doctor. It was all I could do to fight from laying my head back on that chair and going to sleep. Anyone who is around me a lot, you know how often I say, "I could go to sleep right here". That's really how I feel all the time. It doesn't matter when or where. So needless to say, I was ready for the results.

They finally came out and called my name and I followed Dr. Sokhandan to her office. I was a little nervous when I sat down across from her because all I could see were these CPAP, Darth Vadar, elephant breathing machines on the shelf in front of me. She pulled out this manilla folder with my name on it, and started glancing over the results from my sleep study. I held my breath. Then I heard her say that my evening study did not show any signs of my having sleep apnea at all. In fact, all of those results looked relatively normal. Then she moved on to the day study results, which is when I had taken all those naps. The red flag to her was the fact that at twenty-eight years old, I was able to fall asleep within 5-10 minutes every time and sleep soundly enough to reach a dream state. In her words, "that's not a good thing" and "from these results, I would diagnose you with a mild case of narcolepsy".

Narcolepsy, people. Beka has narcolepsy! It's not the severe kind where I fall asleep mid-conversation or behind the wheel, but it is mild enough to cause me to suffer from Extreme Drowsiness Syndrome (EDS). And no, I did not make that up. That's legit. I'm still not one hundred percent sure of everything, but here's what I know. I sleep at night, without being restless or without gasping for air. The problem is a chemical imbalance in my brain with the protein that regulates sleep and awake cycles. I'm already researching the protein itself and also the meds she gave me to try and regulate it. I don't really want to be on a prescription med for the rest of my life, but I do want to feel awake. Who knows.

All this to say, I DO NOT have sleep apnea.
I DO have narcolepsy.
I've seen Deuce Bigalow. Let the jokes and taunting begin. :)